A Little Birdie Told Me...

Twitter. Tweet. A few years ago, those two words had very different definitions and connotations than they do in our tech-centric culture. I'm on Twitter, and I've found it to be an amazing tool when it comes to keeping current in ministry trends and staying in touch with what's happening "out there" in the church ministry world. It's wonderful to be able to hear from great leaders and thinkers in the Christian realm and stay current, all the while being tucked away here in northern Maine.

That being said, I've recently observed an entirely other "dark side" of the Twitterverse.  It seems that many teens (and preteens) are migrating from Facebook updates to Tweets. (Or they're "living" in both worlds.) And the disturbing thing? The person they represent on Twitter may be VERY different from the person on Facebook or in "real life", usually for the worse. Vulgarity, promiscuity, perversity, profanity...these are some of the words to describe what I've noticed. In fact, here's a personal Tweet of mine from yesterday, January 30: "Twitter seems to be becoming the new "Secret Life of the American Teenager". :-/ "

So, parents--are your kids on Twitter? If you say no, are you sure? Who are your kids following on Twitter? Who is following your kids? These are all individuals who will influence and impact your child and his or her worldview. It's worth it to pay attention to their online habits and make sure you're "in the know."

Now You See Me...

Snapchat Icon

...now you don't! That could well be the byline for a relatively new app called Snapchat (available for iPod touches, iPads, and Android devices). The premise of the app is that you take a picture of yourself, send it to a friend, and it disappears in seconds, never to be seen again. If you look up its rating on the App Store, you'll find it's suggested for people 12 and older for these reasons: Infrequent/Mild Profanity or Crude Humor; Infrequent/Mild Alcohol, Tobacco, or Drug Use or References; Infrequent/Mild Mature/Suggestive Themes; Infrequent/Mild Sexual Content or Nudity.

Now a picture app seems relatively harmless, right? Think again. Apparently a major use of this app has been for sexting, that "practice" of taking sexually provocative pictures and sending them to someone else. You have probably heard the horror stories of people who have sent inappropriate pictures of themselves to "friends" only to see them plastered in the school hallways or on Facebook. Snapchat takes away that concern. Now you can take a picture, send it along, and determine how many seconds it can be viewed. According to a recent article, something like 50 million "snaps" are sent each day!

So what's the bottom line for parents? Make sure you know what your kids are doing online. What apps are they using? What are the ratings of those apps? (Remember, these are apps that are rated according to secular standards.) How are they using these apps? How do you monitor their online behavior? It's not an easy job by any stretch, but it's certainly worth it to make sure you're doing all you can to be "in the know" about your child's online safety.

Web Wisdom

Over the past couple of weeks, my brain has been inundated with a variety of posts, forwards, and emails with erroneous information that was gleaned from the "all-knowing" Internet. This may be stating the obvious, but just because something is in print online does not make something true. Verify through a variety of sources. Check out websites like www.snopes.com which do the fact-checking for you. If something sounds a bit off-center, it probably is. Don't be deceived.

I've also come to realize that I can basically find information online to prove my point, even if my point is incorrect or invalid. Between PhotoShop and blog posts and spoof sites like "The Onion" and "The Spoof" whose sole purpose is to make things up, wisdom has got to be the byword when surfing the web. If I want to "dig up dirt" on an individual, I'll find it. If I want to find unflattering pictures of celebrities, I'll find it. But it doesn't mean that it's true!

Jesus said, "I am sending you out like sheep among wolves. Therefore be as shrewd as snakes and as innocent as doves." (Matthew 10:16) There are many "wolves" on the internet...our job is to be shrewd, wise, prudent.

Lights, Camera, ACTION!

Over the past few days, I've been pondering the significance of the word "serve" in the life of a Christ follower. Scripture tells us that Jesus did not come to be served to but to serve. (Mark 10:45) If you do a word search in scripture for the word "serve", you'll come up with MANY verses that talk about the importance of serving the Lord, as well as each other. I love when the words of the Bible are simple and to the point, like this verse from Paul's pen in Romans 12:10-11, "Be devoted to one another in brotherly love. Honor one another above yourselves. Never be lacking in zeal, but keep your spiritual fervor, serving the Lord." 

Those last three words are where my eyes landed when reading this passage this time around--"serving the Lord." That implies something that is ongoing, not once and done. There are myriad ways to serve the Lord...in our churches, in our homes, in the marketplace, in our neighborhoods, etc. etc. etc. My prayer is that families instill this virtue of service into their children from an early age. If you have children, you know that  they can easily default to the "it's all about me" mode of living. Getting them involved in serving others helps to battle the bent toward self-centeredness. The Christian life is about ACTION! And that action is generally aimed away from ourselves.

Our church is involved with a wonderful outreach called Adopt-A-Block of Aroostook, and this has proven to be a great way for families to minister together. Each time we gather, there are families with children who are participating...helping to pack food bags, helping to clean up, helping to load vehicles, helping to deliver items to people's homes...all the while keeping the focus on someone besides themselves.

How do you help your children love and serve others? How do you teach them that they are not the center of the universe? Leave a comment with your input...it's always great to hear how other families are navigating the waters of raising their children.

Kids and Communion

Depending on what church you attend, your children may have an opportunity to participate in communion. I encourage parents to remind their children that communion is not a mid-service snack, but it signifies something very important that we as Christ followers celebrate as we remember the sacrifice of Jesus in order to forgive our sins. Below is a great little devotion written by a mom that I came across some time ago on www.SundaySchoolNetwork.com. It may be something you're able to implement in your family as you help your children better understand what communion is all about.

This is what I do for my kids:  We read 1 Corinthians 11:23-29 (sometimes the kids read depending on who's there that morning). We discuss it using these questions:

What was Jesus doing?
What was he saying to the disciples?
What are we to remember?

Then I discuss three things communion is to remind us of: 

1. Jesus' death and resurrection. 
2. Unity (Being together as one body [of Christ], mind, and spirit) 
3. And Jesus' return (coming back for us!) 

Then we make careful note of v.27-29

We discuss something simple like, we shouldn't have bad feelings about someone because of what he or she did or didn't do to/for us. I give the kids a chance to make sure they are not holding any offenses (once a little boy went next door to the nursery to hug his little brother and forgive him).

I also make them realize the "bread" and "cup" is not candy--they are not taking it because they are hungry or will love the taste. We only do it because Jesus asked us to remember Him.

This is another great way to make "faith at home" a reality!

Can You Hear Me Now?

Who doesn't have a cell phone these days, right?! Five year olds to fifty year olds, everyone "needs" a cell phone. iPhone. Android. Smart phones. Not-so-smart phones. They're everywhere! In the car, at school, at home, in the grocery store, in the bathroom! So what's a parent to do to make sure their child is safe and responsible in using this device? 

First of all, I'm a proponent of having a preset age that your child knows he or she will be able to look into having a cell phone. I also encourage parents to decide if they want to get their kids a smart phone or just a "plain vanilla" model that doesn't connect to the Internet. 

Secondly, I love this idea that I recently discovered on the Huffington Post website. It's a contract that a pretty savvy mom drew up for her 13-year-old son who just earned the privilege of having a cell phone. In order to have a new phone, he had to comply with all 18 points...non-negotiable. 

Here are the 18 points she included in the contract:

1.It is my phone. I bought it. I pay for it. I am loaning it to you. Aren't I the greatest?

2. I will always know the password. 

3. If it rings, answer it. It is a phone. Say hello, use your manners. Do not ever ignore a phone call if the screen reads "Mom" or "Dad." Not ever.

4. Hand the phone to one of your parents promptly at 7:30 p.m. every school night and every weekend night at 9:00 p.m. It will be shut off for the night and turned on again at 7:30 a.m. If you would not make a call to someone's land line, wherein their parents may answer first, then do not call or text. Listen to those instincts and respect other families like we would like to be respected.

5. It does not go to school with you. Have a conversation with the people you text in person. It's a life skill. *Half days, field trips and after school activities will require special consideration.

6. If it falls into the toilet, smashes on the ground, or vanishes into thin air, you are responsible for the replacement costs or repairs. Mow a lawn, babysit, stash some birthday money. It will happen, you should be prepared.

7. Do not use this technology to lie, fool, or deceive another human being. Do not involve yourself in conversations that are hurtful to others. Be a good friend first or stay out of the crossfire.

8. Do not text, email, or say anything through this device you would not say in person.

9. Do not text, email, or say anything to someone that you would not say out loud with their parents in the room. Censor yourself.

10. No porn. Search the web for information you would openly share with me. If you have a question about anything, ask a person -- preferably me or your father.

11. Turn it off, silence it, put it away in public. Especially in a restaurant, at the movies, or while speaking with another human being. You are not a rude person; do not allow the iPhone to change that.

12. Do not send or receive pictures of your private parts or anyone else's private parts. Don't laugh. Someday you will be tempted to do this despite your high intelligence. It is risky and could ruin your teenage/college/adult life. It is always a bad idea. Cyberspace is vast and more powerful than you. And it is hard to make anything of this magnitude disappear -- including a bad reputation.

13. Don't take a zillion pictures and videos. There is no need to document everything. Live your experiences. They will be stored in your memory for eternity.

14. Leave your phone home sometimes and feel safe and secure in that decision. It is not alive or an extension of you. Learn to live without it. Be bigger and more powerful than FOMO (fear of missing out).

15. Download music that is new or classic or different than the millions of your peers that listen to the same exact stuff. Your generation has access to music like never before in history. Take advantage of that gift. Expand your horizons.

16. Play a game with words or puzzles or brain teasers every now and then.

17. Keep your eyes up. See the world happening around you. Stare out a window. Listen to the birds. Take a walk. Talk to a stranger. Wonder without googling.

18. You will mess up. I will take away your phone. We will sit down and talk about it. We will start over again. You and I, we are always learning. I am on your team. We are in this together.

So, do you employ a similar idea in your own home? Is this something you would be able to implement? How would you modify this contract to include some "faith at home" values? I'd love to hear from you!