Top 10 Reasons to Attend Open Boston 2015

This just in from the great folks who have organized the Open Boston youth ministry conference...

Open Boston is just under THREE WEEKS AWAY and we so hope that YOU are going to join us February 6th and 7th up on the North Shore of Boston! Here are the top ten reasons why you should join us in three weeks:

10. Swag - who doesn't like free stuff? Join us for Open Boston and we promise you, we'll hook you up with freebies worth more than the cost to register!

9. An AWESOME Raffle - On top of the free stuff we will give to everyone, we'll also raffle away some great prizes at the end of the conference. Our sponsors in the past have given out conference registrations, year-long curriculums, tickets to our annual Youth Worker Recharge, and more!

8. FREE Dinner on Friday Night - who's going to complain about a free meal...from Panera Bread too. Yum!

7. FREE Lunch on Saturday Too! - Yup, included in the registration cost is a second meal for the weekend! And Gordon College has some fantastic catering.

6. Joe Frey - we've upped our game as far as worship is concerned this year, as we'll be joined by New England musician Joe Frey. He'll be leading us on Friday night and Saturday morning. You can check out a sample of Joe here with a free download of his song Send: https://joefrey.bandcamp.com/track/send

5. Incredible Intensives - this year during our pre-conference on Friday we have two phenomenal options for you to check out. Social media expert Adam McLane will be leading Teenagers + the Small Screen from 1:30pm-3:30pm and then from 4:00pm-6:00pm, we'll have Scott Larson, as seasoned veteran with working with at-risk students, lead us in 10 Things Youth Workers Need to Understand about Reaching and Engaging at-Risk Youth for Transformational Change. (Did we mention that the pre-conference sessions are INCLUDED in the $25 conference registration!)
4. A Worship Service on Friday Night - as youth workers, we are constantly leading others. Here is your chance to just come, worship and take in God's word without any responsibilities or jobs! We're excited to have New England Youth Pastor Nathan Rockafellow sharing a message during our service from 7:00pm-8:00pm at Calvary Baptist Church in Peabody.
 
3. 15 New England Based Speakers to Choose From - we've got 15 awesome youth workers right from our back yard to choose from on a variety of topics all context sensitive to the ministry you are doing.

2. You Support a Local Ministry - 34% of every ticket sold for Open Boston will go to support Life Bridge Mentoring, a mentoring organization that is currently serving in 8 public schools in New Hampshire and Vermont and looking to expand! 

1. $25!!!!! - All of this - the pre-conference on Friday, Saturday's conference, the two meals, the swag, the worship service...all of it is just $25 per person! Seriously, it's the best deal in youth ministry when it comes to training! (We also have a great deal with a local hotel for $82 which included breakfast too! That means for a total of just over $100 you get three meals, lodging, the pre-conference and the Saturday conference!)

D6 Conference IMPRESSions--Day 2

I've been back from D6 Conference for about five days now, and I'm still processing all the wonderful input I received while there. God has been showing me some ways that I can start applying some things, fairly immediately, which excites me! Below, I'm going to share some of my highlights from the second (and final) day of the conference. It was another day filled to overflowing with great speakers, great insight, and great worship!

• I would be completely remiss if I didn't share what a blessing it was to have Shane and Shane leading us in worship. Such authenticity and intimacy with the Father. It was apparent that the Lord was their focus and their primary audience, and they had such a wonderful way of making you feel like you were worshiping with them...nothing even hinted at it being a performance or "show." My personal favorite song (which has stuck with me since I first heard it last week) is called "That's How You Forgive." Check it out here.

• Les and Leslie Parrot started out our morning on day two. Their primary focus was how to fight a good fight in marriage! It was a well-received presentation. :-) "Round 1" dealt with "Why we fight," and "Round 2" dealt with "How to Fight a Good Fight." There are two main reasons couples tend to find themselves in arguments: perceived threats (critical, judgmental, controlling, demanding) and perceived neglect (selfish, uncaring, uncommitted, neglectful, disengaged). When we feel that we are on the receiving end of any of those "threats," we can end up fighting. The "take-away" I got from that session was, "Conflict is the price we pay for a deeper level of intimacy."

• Rob Rienow was up next, and he took a look at ministry patterns and challenged us to consider whether or not we follow those ministry patterns that have been set up in the Bible. He's a proponent of having children (all ages) stay in the sanctuary for the entire service. He proposed that age is the only demographic we use to separate the Church family. (We don't separate based on salary, race, etc.) The big impression I got from Rob is something I'm still rolling around in my mind. The issue of kids who come to church without parents was raised, and he asked us as ministry leaders to consider getting the Christ-following families in your church at a point where they are well-focused and well-equipped, which will free up your time a little more to focus on outreach and evangelism. Our church has a number of wonderful outreach opportunities already in place, and there are many children and families involved. So I'm praying for clearer direction on how to proceed!

• Dave Stone had a great message about the three gifts you can give your kids: Value, Grace, Love. He had a number of statements that resonated with me:
• "We need to have concern for the Church of today so there's a Church of tomorrow."
• "Keep the dust off the high chairs." (He shared a story of a dying church whose high chairs were in storage and covered in dust...if you want a thriving church, keep the high chairs full!)
• An idea for a nighttime prayer from a parent to a child: "Oh God, I can't wait to see how you're going to use ___________ for your glory."
• "We get so wrapped up in the work of the Lord that we forget the Lord of the work."

• Robert Morgan shared some insight into what he calls a "Grace Cycle," something that often comes out of grief. He specifically related it to parents who might be dealing with a prodigal child in their lives. He authored a book called Prayers and Promises for Worried Parents.
• Pain
• Prayer
• Patience--everything has a built-in maturation process
• Peace--a heavenly carelessness knowing that God is in charge
• Praise--even when things are't like we want them

• The final session of the day and of the conference was from Dr. Timothy Paul Jones. He took a fascinating look at the History of Family Ministry in Five Drawings (You'll be glad you checked this out!) He also challenged us to look at the story our lives are telling. He also told us that the story of our ministries needs to be bigger than me and bigger than my ministry. "Jesus didn't die for my ministry, He died for the people in my ministry." I wrote this in my notes as my one big impression, "I'm tired of trying to write my own story." Ultimately, Jesus is the author and finisher of our faith, and if He's writing it, I can be assured that the story is going to be good!

D6 2013 IMPRESSions--Day One

I'm freshly returned from the D6 Conference in Louisville, Kentucky, and it was another home run kind of experience in my personal walk with the Lord as well as getting some great clarity for the professional side of my life in full-time ministry. This year's theme was "Impress", which looked at the verse from Deuteromony 6 which talks about the responsibility of adults to impress the commands of God on their children. Below, I have summarized the big IMPRESSions I got out of each session. It was so wonderful to get exposed to some speakers I've never heard of before as well as to have (in Deuteronomy fashion) a "repeating" of many things I have learned in the past.

• The first session was with Darrin Patrick. His focus was from Galatians 5 and 6...comparing and contrasting the fruit of the Spirit and the fruit of the flesh. It was a great way to kick things off, as he challenged us to be able to discern between the fruit of the Spirit and what he described as the fruit of our personality. Just because we are a certain way doesn't mean that God's Spirit can't have His way and make us more like Him. He shared three ways that fruit grows: holistically (the fruit of the Spirit is a "package deal"); internally (law can change behavior, but only the Spirit can change the heart); gradually (don't expect radical changes overnight); communally (God designed for us to be growing together.)  The real "bazinga" statement from him was, "Do you use your ministry as your righteousness?" Only JESUS can be our righteousness!
• Tim Kimmel was up next, and my biggest take-away from his session was this, "God has not called us to raise safe Christian kids; He's called us to raise strong ones." His son was somewhat "annoyed" during a prayer time prior to a mission trip. During the prayers, he said that everything was "prayed away" that would have required them to rely on God during the trip. We can't succumb to fear-based praying and parenting.
• Dr. James Dobson was a true delight to sit under.  What a phenomenal story teller. He shared the story of his family's legacy, dating back to his great-grandfather. A few quotes from him that have stuck with me: 
• "The culture is at war with your children for their hearts and minds."
• "The greatest thing I could do for my kids was to pray for them."
• "If you don't reach your children for Christ, you'll never see them again."
• "Nothing else matters if you don't reach your kids for Christ."
• Something new this year was a series of D6 Minis, which was a sort of rapid fire talks, each with a very specific focus. Of these, the two that stood out to me the most were from Lydia Randall and Megan Lacefield. Lydia spoke on the topic of busyness, which really resonated. One phrase from her has echoed repeatedly in my mind, "We are crazy not to do a Sabbath." She also pointed out that the Chinese character for busy is comprised of two images: heart + killing. Megan encouraged finding ways for ministries to work together within the church, and the big IMPRESSion from her talk was this statement, "Don't wait until kids are adults to believe they can make an impact."
• The final session on Day One was from Todd Wagner. The best way to summarize his topic is to present a few of his quotes that made an impact:
• When setting priorities in life, ask yourself this question, "What are the things that only I can do?"
• "Church attenders don't change anything; disciples do."
• "Your job is not to get people to come to you (or your church); it's to get them to come to Christ."
• "Is there darkness and decay in our country? There's never been a greater opportunity to be light and salt!"

The Junior High Factor

Junior High Students Rock!

I have over a decade of experience working with junior high students, and they continue to be my favorite age group to work with. They are a fascinating bundle of weird, maturity, silliness and seriousness...and I love them! :-)  For some reason, God has allowed my own junior high years to be indelibly marked in my mind, and I can easily bring back the memories and feelings of those years. Some of those memories are great, and others I would rather relegate to a world far, far away!

One thing that continues to bubble up in many formal and informal studies is that by the time a young person reaches those junior high years, WHO they are is pretty well established when it comes to their fundamental character. The Barna Group did a study a few years ago and discovered that over half of Christians will make a decision for Christ by the time they're 13. Once they get past the age of 18, the chances decrease. Now, I would never limit the capacity for the Holy Spirit to transform someone just because the statistics declare otherwise, but I think it's significant to note the importance of reaching children with the gospel...an authentic and understandable gospel...as early as possible, and demonstrating how to live that out in the world around them.

In my experience with junior high students, I found that there was an "uncanny" ability to predict the course that a student would take as they grew and became more independent based on who they were in 7th and 8th grade. Who they were in junior high became amplified as they grew and graduated and became a part of the "real world." Students who were pursuing Jesus in junior high are still close to Him and living for Him today. Students who were "playacting" the part of Christian in junior high saw no need to continue that charade as they grew older. And students who overtly thumbed their noses at all things Christ-centered continued on that path that has led to many difficult and challenging life situations.

Of the hundreds of students I've observed over the past decade, there have been a few who were far from the Lord in junior high and came into a relationship with Him in their older years. But those have been more the exception than the rule.

What's the bottom line? Parents, pastors, teachers, Sunday school leaders, youth leaders--you have a huge job and an awesome opportunity to shape the life of children, each with an eternal soul. I'm impassioned with giving children experiences early in their life that show them the importance of Who Jesus is, how much He loves them, and what a blast it is to live for Him! It's also a huge privilege to be an ambassador for Christ to young people who don't yet know Jesus. It's never too late to turn to Him!

Can You Hear Me Now?

Who doesn't have a cell phone these days, right?! Five year olds to fifty year olds, everyone "needs" a cell phone. iPhone. Android. Smart phones. Not-so-smart phones. They're everywhere! In the car, at school, at home, in the grocery store, in the bathroom! So what's a parent to do to make sure their child is safe and responsible in using this device? 

First of all, I'm a proponent of having a preset age that your child knows he or she will be able to look into having a cell phone. I also encourage parents to decide if they want to get their kids a smart phone or just a "plain vanilla" model that doesn't connect to the Internet. 

Secondly, I love this idea that I recently discovered on the Huffington Post website. It's a contract that a pretty savvy mom drew up for her 13-year-old son who just earned the privilege of having a cell phone. In order to have a new phone, he had to comply with all 18 points...non-negotiable. 

Here are the 18 points she included in the contract:

1.It is my phone. I bought it. I pay for it. I am loaning it to you. Aren't I the greatest?

2. I will always know the password. 

3. If it rings, answer it. It is a phone. Say hello, use your manners. Do not ever ignore a phone call if the screen reads "Mom" or "Dad." Not ever.

4. Hand the phone to one of your parents promptly at 7:30 p.m. every school night and every weekend night at 9:00 p.m. It will be shut off for the night and turned on again at 7:30 a.m. If you would not make a call to someone's land line, wherein their parents may answer first, then do not call or text. Listen to those instincts and respect other families like we would like to be respected.

5. It does not go to school with you. Have a conversation with the people you text in person. It's a life skill. *Half days, field trips and after school activities will require special consideration.

6. If it falls into the toilet, smashes on the ground, or vanishes into thin air, you are responsible for the replacement costs or repairs. Mow a lawn, babysit, stash some birthday money. It will happen, you should be prepared.

7. Do not use this technology to lie, fool, or deceive another human being. Do not involve yourself in conversations that are hurtful to others. Be a good friend first or stay out of the crossfire.

8. Do not text, email, or say anything through this device you would not say in person.

9. Do not text, email, or say anything to someone that you would not say out loud with their parents in the room. Censor yourself.

10. No porn. Search the web for information you would openly share with me. If you have a question about anything, ask a person -- preferably me or your father.

11. Turn it off, silence it, put it away in public. Especially in a restaurant, at the movies, or while speaking with another human being. You are not a rude person; do not allow the iPhone to change that.

12. Do not send or receive pictures of your private parts or anyone else's private parts. Don't laugh. Someday you will be tempted to do this despite your high intelligence. It is risky and could ruin your teenage/college/adult life. It is always a bad idea. Cyberspace is vast and more powerful than you. And it is hard to make anything of this magnitude disappear -- including a bad reputation.

13. Don't take a zillion pictures and videos. There is no need to document everything. Live your experiences. They will be stored in your memory for eternity.

14. Leave your phone home sometimes and feel safe and secure in that decision. It is not alive or an extension of you. Learn to live without it. Be bigger and more powerful than FOMO (fear of missing out).

15. Download music that is new or classic or different than the millions of your peers that listen to the same exact stuff. Your generation has access to music like never before in history. Take advantage of that gift. Expand your horizons.

16. Play a game with words or puzzles or brain teasers every now and then.

17. Keep your eyes up. See the world happening around you. Stare out a window. Listen to the birds. Take a walk. Talk to a stranger. Wonder without googling.

18. You will mess up. I will take away your phone. We will sit down and talk about it. We will start over again. You and I, we are always learning. I am on your team. We are in this together.

So, do you employ a similar idea in your own home? Is this something you would be able to implement? How would you modify this contract to include some "faith at home" values? I'd love to hear from you!

Who Are YOU Becoming?

Over the past six months to a year, God has been teaching me a lot about abiding in Him and areas that I am really needing to become better at. About a month ago, I was blessed to be able to attend the D6 Conference in Frisco, TX, which looks at ways the church and family can partner together to disciple the next generation. The theme of the entire conference was "Abide in Christ", and I came away with some wonderful nuggets that have been challenging me and changing the way I think and the way I "do life".

Pete Wilson, the founder of Cross Point Community Church in Nashville, TN, was the first speaker, and his words continue to echo in my mind. He challenged us with this statement, "What matters most in life is not what you accomplish but who you are becoming." WOW! In a culture that "rates" you based on all that you accomplish, this goes right up the proverbial nose of said culture! He also used Jesus' own words from Matthew 16:26, "What good will it be for a man if he gains the whole world, yet forfeits his soul? Or what can a man give in exchange for his soul?" This is causing me to ask myself frequently, "Who am I becoming?" My goal is for the answer to be, "More like Christ," and that requires a daily, intentional plan to ABIDE in Christ (John 15) and to make sure that I'm not stuffing my life with activities and tasks that distract me from the goal. Am I a busy person? Yes, generally I am. But I am learning that abiding needs to take place first. Period. It's really about priorities.

Now I need to step on a few toes out there. Can I be blunt? Young people are too busy. Their days are packed to the gills with school, homework, jobs, and every extra curricular activity known to man. They are stressed out, lacking sleep, and running on empty most days. This is "normal", but should it be? As a full-time staff person in a church, I see youth missing church because of job conflicts or sporting events. Youth and church events tend to be the first things that get axed in favor of other pursuits. Can I be blunt again? This bothers me. Not because I desire to have huge numbers of people at events, but because I see skewed priorities. Too often, God is an after thought or at the bottom of the list of priorities. To paraphrase Jesus, what good is it if I have a great list of accomplishments and have accumulated lots of money to buy the stuff I want if I am in danger of losing my own soul? Sobering thought, isn't it?

Bottom line for me is again the words of Jesus, "If you remain in Me and I in you, you will bear much fruit; apart from Me you can do nothing." (John 15:5) Abiding in Christ needs to be our first priority each day...seeking His will and His instructions for what we put our hands to each day.  

Who am I becoming? Who are YOU becoming? Who is your CHILD becoming?