What's in a Parent?

I'm very excited to have another young adult giving a "faith at home" testimony! Let me introduce you to Mackenzie, a senior in college. A self-identified "PK", he shares how the faith of his parents has impacted the young man he has become.

What’s In a Parent?

“What’s in a parent?” That’s a question I’ve been pondering as I have grown and matured for the last few years now, transitioning out of my collegiate career and into a new time of life that will—Lord-willing—allow me to become a parent to my own little ones someday. Being raised by parents who honor the Lord in what they say and do has shown me not only the irreplaceable value of having a supportive Christian environment at home but also the incredible importance of living that faith out on my own two feet. Let me elaborate a little more on this.

Being a ‘PK’—a pastor’s kid, a.k.a. ‘one of those kids’—naturally came with its own sets of pressures and challenges. This seemed to be compounded by the fact that I grew up in a small town where the rules of life teach that reputation is everything. To make for more of a gushy story, I attended a Christian school my whole educational career—K-12 and college! With all that said, I’m completely aware of the overall response many will think when reading these last few sentences: what a poor, sheltered life. It wasn’t until the last half of my time in high school, however, that I began to understand the immense blessing that God had undeservedly poured out on my life in the form of godly parents and a God-honoring upbringing. You may call it sheltered, but I call it a gift from the Lord. Here’s why…

First, experiencing ‘faith at home’ has enabled me to see two examples of how the Christian life should be lived: in humility, service, and love (no, my parents did not pay me to say this). I can’t stress enough the incredible importance of having at least one close godly figure in one’s life that can act as an encouragement, an example, and a sharpening agent to walk through this sanctifying spiritual journey with. To have not one but two of these figures in my life has been a tremendous benefit to my spiritual growth, especially through awkward and uncertain times, e.g. late elementary and junior high. Second, ‘faith at home’ has allowed for a spiritual foundation that I have been able to launch from as I entered into the college years. I think of those times when I was small, and my dad would lift me up onto his shoulders. I’d feel so adventurous and brave! This picture is similar to what I’m trying to convey here: the spiritual foundation laid by my parents who prayerfully lived godly lives in the midst of my maturation into adulthood has enabled me—in a sense—to use their shoulders as a foundation for me to launch from as I jumped into the great unknown called ‘college and beyond.’ Last, knowing that the Lord has blessed me with a home environment that has been especially inducing to my own walk with the Lord leaves me feeling graciously humbled as I recognize that it has not been an independent effort to establish my own spiritual life. Of course, salvation is an individual decision, but we were not meant to live the Christian life on our own.

Knowing God has so graciously ordained my life to be filled with godly examples such as my parents has forced me to see that He alone is the reason that I am alive in Him, walking in His grace, and pressing on toward the goal. So what’s in a parent? I suppose the only way to fully answer that question is to wholeheartedly continue to follow our heavenly Parent, our Father.

Practicing Failure

Check out James 1:2, "Consider it pure joy, my brothers, whenever you face trials of many kinds..." James goes on to point out that it's important to let these trials take full effect so we can be "mature and complete, not lacking anything." Bottom line? Tough times are actually good for us! I know, I know...that's not EVER something you consider while you're going THROUGH a tough time, but looking back, you can often see how God has made you a stronger person, how He has polished your character, how He has made you more like Him.

Now let's talk about the children growing up in today's world. Are they given opportunities to "face trials of many kinds"? Are they given chances to fail and learn from those failures? Or are they presented with a "cushy" no-fail, everyone's-a-winner kind of environment to grow up in?  Saturday Night Live has a pretty poignant skit called "You Can Do Anything" that spoofs the trend in society to pamper kids, really to their detriment. Take a couple of minutes to check it out...does any of it resonate with you?

How about some cold, hard facts? Everyone is NOT a winner in life. Sometimes you fail. Sometimes you come in second. Sometimes you don't even get recognized.  And sometimes you NOT good at something. That's life! This generation has been dubbed "Generation iY" because they have been trained by the adults in their life that the world revolves around them. That they ARE winners and can do anything!

Now please hear me on this...I'm certainly not saying that words of encouragement are a bad thing. But those encouraging words need to be GENUINE. I love receiving encouragement, but I also know when someone's just saying empty words to flatter me.

Kids need to learn that failure is OK, it's a part of life, and ultimately, you can learn a lot from it.  So how do you handle failure and "trials" in your kids' lives? Do you give them opportunities to "practice" failure and teach them through that process?

A Faith at Home Testimony

At our church "faith at home" is a primary focus in our children's and youth ministries. We seek ways as a church to partner with parents so that the gospel is a part of daily living, not just a "Sunday only" kind of pursuit. Over the upcoming weeks, I'll be featuring some guest blog posts from young adults who have grown up with "faith at home" as a reality and how that has impacted them as they embark into adulthood.

The first guest blogger is Victoria Lee, who is in her final year of college. Parents, Sunday school teachers, and youth workers...be encouraged by what she says!

Growing up in a Christian household, I never really understood the blessing that was given to me. Going to church, saying prayers with my family, listening to the Christian radio in the car - that was all just “normal”. As I've gotten older, I have seen how rare my growing up experience was. Living a life centered around Christianity wasn't optional. I remember “asking Jesus into my heart” during Sunday School when I was about 4 years old.

Although I had church and Christian parents surrounding me my entire life, I did not get serious about making faith my own until it was time for me to graduate high school and go on to college. Don’t get me wrong! I did the youth group thing and went to all of the youth rallies in high school. I loved them! I was very active in church and always liked to volunteer but that was about the extent of my faith. I never had a very deep relationship with God.
As I entered into my college years, I decided to go to a Christian university. Contrary to what most people think, Christian universities have issues with alcohol, drugs, and parties just like secular schools. It is just more hidden and not as “in your face”. My parents raised me to know that those lifestyles were wrong. I knew that if I didn't get serious about trying to grow a personal relationship with God, I would be easily swayed. Luckily for me, the university I attend is very big on nurturing students' spiritual lives. Through weekly convocation times (chapel services three times a week), prayer groups on Tuesday nights (a chance to meet with a small group of girls for Bible study and prayer) and church attendance, I've been able to get a lot more serious about wanting to live a Christian lifestyle. I've come to realize that attending church isn't enough. A relationship with God is all that matters and it is something you need to work for.

Let’s pause a second. I don’t want you all to think I am this perfect Christian college girl. I’m not. I've made bad choices and willingly followed the wrong crowd in college. Even at the times when I have knowingly made the wrong choice, I've always felt that conviction inside. The values my parents raised me with are always going to be a part of me.
So, parents, don’t give up on your kids. Teach your children the Bible starting at a young age. Tell them what is right and wrong. Never stop praying for them.  I’m sure that most parents are familiar with Proverbs 22:6 (NIV) which says, “Train a child in the way he should go, and when he is old he will not turn from it.” I have experienced this verse to be true in my own life and although I've never really expressed it, I am so very blessed to have been raised in a Christian home.

On behalf of all the young adults who were raised with faith at home (and all the kids who don’t understand the blessing they have yet), thank you to all of the mommies and daddies. Thank you to church families, Sunday school teachers and youth group leaders. All of the time you spent on your knees and in the Word for us does not go in vain. Your lives are making an impact for Christ every single day. Even though most of us will probably never express it verbally, we are so blessed by the Christian influence that has been placed in our lives. We love you!

The Ratings Game

It's probably safe to say that under many Christmas trees this year will be gifts of video games. Parents, are you aware of the ratings system that is placed on each game that is created?  You can visit this site, the Entertainment Software Rating Board (ESRB), to get a complete description of what each rating means and determine if the games your child has requested are appropriate for their age and maturity.

As a reminder, these ratings are put in place by a non-Christian culture, so if a video game is rated "T" for teen or "M" for mature, keep in mind that's a secular view point. As a Christian parent, you may have stricter standards for what you will allow your child to ingest.  Two Christian-run sites you may find helpful as you make informed decisions about what you will purchase are Guide2Games and PluggedIn. They have game reviews and details, by Christians for Christians.

In light of the recent tragedy in Newtown, CT, violence is a very real part of the world we live in, and I'm a firm believer in making sure that we're not perpetuating that violence in our children through the video games they play.

A Parent's Prayer Program

I've been cleaning out old files over the past few weeks in anticipation of our March move into a new church building, and I've been uncovering all sorts of treasures! I'd like to share one of them with you in this post. It's called "A Parent's Prayer Program", and it was written by Bob Hostetler for Focus on the Family back in February of 2000, designed with one prayer a day for a month. Even though it's nearly 13 years old, the truths of praying scripture over your children is timeless! As we move one step closer to a new year, a prayer program like this may be something you'll consider implementing as you raise your children in the knowledge of Christ.

1. Salvation—Lord, let salvation spring up within my children, that they may obtain the salvation that is in Christ Jesus, with eternal glory.(Isaiah 45:8, 2 Timothy 2:10)

2. Growth in grace—I pray that they may “grow in the grace and knowledge of our Lord and Savior Jesus Christ.” (2 Peter 3:18)

3. Love—Grant, Lord, that my children may learn to live a life of love through the Spirit who dwells in them. (Ephesians 5:2, Galatians 5:22)

4. Honesty and integrity—May integrity and honesty be their virtue and their protection. (Psalm 25:21)

5. Self-control—Father, help my children not to be like many others around them, but let them be “alert and self-controlled” in all they do. (1 Thessalonians 5:6)

6. A love for God’s word—May my children grow to find Your Word “more precious than gold, than much pure gold; [and] sweeter than honey, than honey form the comb.” (Psalm 19:10)

7. Justice—God, help my children to love justice as You do and to “act justly” in all they do. (Psalm 11:7, Micah 6:8)

8. Mercy—May my children always “be merciful, as [their] Father is merciful.” (Luke 6:36)

9. Respect (for self, others, authority)—Father, grant that my children may “show proper respect to everyone,” as Your Word commands. (1 Peter 2:17)

10. Strong, biblical self-esteem—Help my children develop a strong self-esteem that is rooted in the realization that they are “God’s worksmanship, created in Christ Jesus.” (Ephesians 2:10)

11. Faithfulness—“Let love and faithfulness never leave [my children],” but bind these twin virtues around their necks and write them on the tablet of their hearts. (Proverbs 3:3)

12. A passion for God—Lord, please instill in my children a soul with craving for You, a heart that clings passionately to You. (Psalm 63:8)

13. Responsibility—Grant that my children may learn responsibility “for each one should carry his own load.” (Galatians 6:5)

14. Kindness—Lord, may my children “always try to be kind to each other and to everyone else.” (1 Thessalonians 5:15)

15. Generosity—Grant that my children may “be generous and willing to share [and so] lay up treasure for themselves as a firm foundation for the coming age.” (1 Timothy 6:18-19)

16. Peace, peaceability—Father, let my children “make every effort to do what leads to peace.” (Romans 14:19)

17. Hope—May the God of hope grant that my children may overflow with hope and hopefulness by the power of the Holy Spirit. (Romans 15:13)

18. Perseverance—Lord, teach my children perseverance in all they do, and help them especially to “run with perseverance the race marked out for [them].” (Hebrews 12:1)

19. Humility—Lord, please cultivate in my children the ability to “show true humility toward all.” (Titus 3:2)

20. Compassion—Lord, please clothe my children with the virtue of compassion. (Colossians 3:12)

21. Prayerfulness—Grant, Lord, that my children’s lives may be marked by prayerfulness, that they may learn to “pray in the Spirit on all occasions with all kinds of prayers and requests.” (Ephesians 6:18)

22. Contentment—Father, teach my children “the secret of being content in any and every situation…through him who gives them strength.” (Philippians 4:12-13)

23. Faith—I pray that faith will find root and grow in my children’s hearts, that by faith they may gain what has been promised to them. (Like 17:5-6, Hebrews 11:1-40)

24. A servant heart—Lord, please help my children develop servant hearts, that they may serve wholeheartedly “as if [they] were serving the Lord, not men.” (Ephesians 6:7)

25. Purity—“Create in [them] a pure heart, O God,” and let their purity of heart be shown in their actions. (Psalm 51:10)

26. A willingness and ability to work hard—Teach my children, Lord, to value work and to work hard at everything they do, “as working for the Lord, not for men.” (Colossians 3:23)

27. Self-discipline—Father, I pray that my children may develop self-discipline, that they may acquire “a disciplined and prudent life, doing what is right and just and fair.” (Proverbs 1:3)

28. A heart for missions—Lord, please help my children to develop a heart for missions, a desire to see your glory declared among the nations, your marvelous deeds among all peoples. (Psalm 96:3)

29. Joy—May my children be filled “with the joy given by the Holy Spirit.” (1 Thessalonians 1:6)

30. Courage—May my children always “be strong and courageous” in their character and in their actions. (Deuteronomy 31:6)

Cool Gifts for Your Kids

Christmas is coming, and you might still have some shopping to do! I'd love to give you some suggestions of really cool Bibles and devotionals for your kiddos.

Preschoolers will enjoy the Read and Share Bible and its bright pictures and simple stories. It's a great way to introduce children to some of the more well-known accounts from the Bible.

For younger kids, check out the Adventure Bible. It's geared for elementary students, and has a lot of fun "extras" inside that kids will be drawn to.

I love the God and Me Devotions for Girls and the Gotta Have God Devotions for Boys. These books are fun just to look at! I also like the fact that they're broken into three age categories: 2-5, 6-9, and 10-12. So your child will get to interact with scripture in a way that makes it relevant for their age and some of the things they're facing in life.

If you've got kids who enjoy comic books and that kind of artwork, the Action Bible and the Action Bible Devotional will be right up their alley! The narrative in these books is rooted in scripture, and the pictures are colorful and captivating. I recently handed a copy to a junior high boy, and his eyes widened as he looked through the pages, and he pronounced it "cool".  :-)

Along similar lines is the Manga Bible. If you've got kids who are interested in all things Asian and Manga, this will definitely appeal to them!

Finally, you have GOT to check out the What's in the Bible DVD series. This is like the Muppets meet the Veggie Tales. It's created by Phil Vischer (the creative mind behind Veggie Tales), and it takes learning about the Bible to a whole new level. (If you sign up for their newsletter, you'll receive all sorts of great sales and deals throughout the year!)

Fun Ways to Bring Faith Home

Recently, I was given the opportunity to review Timothy Smith's book 52 Creative Family Time Experiences: Fun Ways to Bring Faith Home. I found it to be a great resource for families who are seeking ways to be intentional about passing their Christian faith to their children. Throughout the book, there are 52 ways that parents can create experiences right at home that set the stage for faith discussions. A portion of these 52 experiences focus on milestones and holidays, which are wonderful opportunities to make faith very real and practical to your children. Some of these activities include "Only One Thing Is Needed", "Heroes at Home", "Our Family Brand".

Check out this excerpt from Smith's book:

"According to The Shema, as parents we should impress God's Word on our hearts first: 'Get them inside of you, and then get them inside of your children.' We can't impress on our child's heart something we don't have on our own."

Throughout this book, parents will have opportunities to get God's word inside of them as they in turn get those words inside of their children. Each activity comes with a scripture passage that is shared and discussed. You'll also be given instructions for an object lesson/activity that uses simple household items or items easily found at your local store.

Bottom line, if you're a family who is seeking ways to be more intentional in making faith real, interactive, and authentic in your home, then you'll really enjoy Timothy Smith's book!  You can find it on Amazon.com for purchase.

The new year would be a great time to start a new tradition of a weekly family time, and this book is an excellent resource to guide you in that journey!

Zombies!

Unless you live under a rock, you probably know that zombies are quite the rage these days. People have actual written-out plans for a pending "zombie apocalypse". There is a fascination with these "undead" that continues to amaze me. According to Merriam-Webster, the definition of a zombie is as follows: the supernatural power that according to voodoo belief may enter into and reanimate a dead body; a will-less and speechless human in the West Indies capable only of automatic movement who is held to have died and been supernaturally reanimated.

You'll often hear them referred to as "the walking dead". In fact, in 2010 a wildly popular show called The Walking Dead appeared on television, and this past October it premiered for its third season. According to Entertainment Weekly,

"[The 2012] premiere will probably be remembered as the hour that set a record for zombie killing. How many was that? Seventy? Eighty? After last season’s fan complaint of too much farm chatting and not enough zombie killing, the third season premiere’s orgy of kill-shots surely satisfied fan blood lust."

Can I be honest, that last sentence really really really concerns me. Not necessarily because our culture has this kind of thought toward what is considered entertainment, but because there are a LOT in the Church who are ingesting this show as a regular part of their viewing diet. Recently I wrote a post called "Time to Diet?" that challenges us as Christ followers to have different standards than the world when it comes to what we are "feeding on" via our eyes and our ears.

Even the creators of the show are looking for ways to push the boundaries of what is acceptable on television. I came across an interview on a site aptly called bloody-disgusting.com where The Walking Dead creator Frank Darabont and executive producer Gale Ann Hurd were asked a number of questions about their show. This statement left me chilled to the bone:

"When we were cutting the show together I remember turning to Gale going ‘wow look, we killed a seven-year-old in the first scene. It is kind of our mission statement, isn’t it? It kind of like really sets the tone. It clues the audience in, ‘if you don’t dig this kind of stuff, you really should just tune out now. But if you do think this is intriguing, then stick around’, you know?"

Their "mission statement" revolves around pride in killing a seven-year-old? I don't "dig this kind of stuff", so you can be assured that I won't be tuning in anytime soon.

Psalm 101:3--"I will refuse to look at anything vile and vulgar."

Philippians 4:8--"Finally, brothers, whatever is true, whatever is noble, whatever is right, whatever ispure, whatever is lovely, whatever is admirable—if anything is excellent or praiseworthy—think about such things." 

Time to Diet?

If we look at Daniel's life as described in Daniel 1 in the Bible, we see a devout young man who has decided that the "king's delicacies" (food and wine) were not something with which he should defile himself. Instead, he asked for a diet of vegetables and water! I was pondering this and that led me to think about the "diet" of those of us in the Church. Now, I'm not talking about the food diet (though that could probably be addressed considering our love of potlucks!)  :-)  What I'm talking about is our "brain diet"...what things are we consuming, via our eyes and ears, that affect our thoughts, our spirit?

All  you have to do is Google something like "the effect of music on our brain", and you'll find myriad studies and articles that show brain scans and charts and graphs...all pointing to the fact that you are indeed affected by what you hear. Do a search for the effect of what you watch, and you'll find similar results. The bottom line is that we ARE influenced by things like television shows, music, YouTube videos, video games, the Internet, etc. etc. etc.!

Back to the diet analogy...what is it that you're habitually feeding on? What about your kids? The Psalmist in Psalm 101:3 says, "I will refuse to look at anything vile and vulgar." How much vileness and vulgarity is acceptable in the media we consume? How does a constant diet of vile and vulgar things affect our relationship with the Lord? I've often shared with young people that anything we allow to infiltrate our sight and our hearing should pass the "Philippians Filter" found in Philippians 4:8:

"Finally, brothers, whatever is true, whatever is noble, whatever is right, whatever is pure, whatever is lovely, whatever is admirable—if anything is excellent or praiseworthy—think about such things." (emphasis mine)

Notice those last four words, "think about such things." What you're consuming will affect what you're thinking about. The more true, noble, right, pure, lovely, admirable, excellent, and praiseworthy things are, the better our thoughts will be. This won't just happen with a snap of the fingers...it has to be something we are committed to. Look at Daniel again, "But Daniel resolved that he would not defile himself with the king's food, or with the wine that he drank."  He RESOLVED. Other translations say "he determined", "he made up his mind", "he purposed in his heart". He was intentional in making the Lord his aim. For him, there was no other option.

So, how's your diet?