Head-in-Sand Syndrome

One of my passions in life is to help parents and caregivers understand the depths of the dangers and temptations that are facing today's young people, primarily in the form of online media and social networking. It seems that nearly every day there are new ways to connect, new ways to chronicle your daily happenings, and myriad ways of sharing that with people you know (and don't know!). How in the world does one keep up with all of these changes? Well the short answer is that you probably won't. BUT I bet the kids in your life will be! They know the latest apps and the latest fads because they are "natives" to that world. Those of us who are older are "just visiting" or "foreigners" in that world--we're still trying to learn the language and learn how to navigate.

Do you know what the biggest danger in this new world is? Ignorance. Hence my title, "Head-in-Sand Syndrome." Parents and caregivers, please please please make sure you are keeping yourself educated. I'm not talking about becoming experts on everything that's out there, but at least take the time to make yourself aware of some of the latest trends in tech and online activity. And especially make sure that you're making regular checks of your child's devices. Anything that connects to the Internet has the potential to connect with the world, and with that comes a lot of "open doors" into areas where children and young people should not be traveling.

So where do you start? How about this article on the "7 Dangerous Apps That Parents Need to Know About." Another great site is Focus on the Family's PluggedIn.com. They review movies, TV shows, video games, and music...all from a Christian and biblical worldview. The Digital Kids Initiative is another great online resource that provides up-to-date info about all the cultural trends that are bombarding today's youth.

Bottom line? Don't bury your head in the sand hoping that the issues with technology will go away. We are in a culture where just the opposite is happening, and our responsibility as adults is HUGE! We need to protect our kids. We need to educate our kids (and ourselves). And we need to be wise as serpents and gentle as doves in this ever-changing culture.

Who's Counting?

If you're in ministry for any amount of time, it doesn't take long for questions like "So how many kids are in your Sunday school?" and "How many students are in your youth group?" Somehow we've come to equate quantity with quality. While that is sometimes true, it is not a hard and fast rule. We are an average-sized church with approximately 300 in attendance on a given Sunday. Our Sunday school and youth group average around 30 kids each on a weekly basis. For some churches, those numbers are very low and "insignificant." Unless you are in the triple digits, you don't really count. Most blog sites and children/youth ministry products are geared for the mega churches that have dozens of volunteers per grade level and hundreds of kids in their ministries. So what's an average-sized church to do? STOP COUNTING! :-)

I'm reminded often that Jesus changed the world with a group of 12! Just 12. He poured His life into them and taught them how to duplicate themselves into and through others. You and I know about Jesus because of what happened with those original disciples! Just think about that. Because of the energies that Jesus poured into a small group of young men, the course of history is forever altered!

Consider Gideon...God purposely downsized his group of soldiers so that God would get the glory for victory. Smaller was better!

So, who's counting? Not me! As for me and my ministry, we will keep investing in the lives that God has put in our children's and youth groups, and we will continue to anticipate amazing impacts on our world because of it!

Praying for Your Child

Nearly 14 years ago, Focus on the Family published a great list of 30 ways to pray for your child. As March begins, this is a great way to focus your day-to-day prayers on the spiritual life of your son or daughter.

A Parent’s Prayer Program

By Bob Hostetler
Focus on the Family, February 2000

1. Salvation—Lord, let salvation spring up within my children, that they may obtain the salvation that is in Christ Jesus, with eternal glory.(Isaiah 45:8, 2 Timothy 2:10)
2. Growth in grace—I pray that they may “grow in the grace and knowledge of our Lord and Savior Jesus Christ.” (2 Peter 3:18)
3. Love—Grant, Lord, that my children may learn to live a life of love through the Spirit who dwells in them. (Ephesians 5:2, Galatians 5:22)
4. Honesty and integrity—May integrity and honesty be their virtue and their protection. (Psalm 25:21)
5. Self-control—Father, help my children not to be like many others around them, but let them be “alert and self-controlled” in all they do. (1 Thessalonians 5:6)
6. A love for God’s word—May my children grow to find Your Word “more precious than gold, than much pure gold; [and] sweeter than honey, than honey form the comb.” (Psalm 19:10)
7. Justice—God, help my children to love justice as You do and to “act justly” in all they do. (Psalm 11:7, Micah 6:8)
8. Mercy—May my children always “be merciful, as [their] Father is merciful.” (Luke 6:36)
9. Respect (for self, others, authority)—Father, grant that my children may “show proper respect to everyone,” as Your Word commands. (1 Peter 2:17)
10. Strong, biblical self-esteem—Help my children develop a strong self-esteem that is rooted in the realization that they are “God’s worksmanship, created in Christ Jesus.” (Ephesians 2:10)
11. Faithfulness—“Let love and faithfulness never leave [my children],” but bind these twin virtues around their necks and write them on the tablet of their hearts. (Proverbs 3:3)
12. A passion for God—Lord, please instill in my children a soul with craving for You, a heart that clings passionately to You. (Psalm 63:8)
13. Responsibility—Grant that my children may learn responsibility “for each one should carry his own load.” (Galatians 6:5)
14. Kindness—Lord, may my children “always try to be kind to each other and to everyone else.” (1 Thessalonians 5:15)
15. Generosity—Grant that my children may “be generous and willing to share [and so] lay up treasure for themselves as a firm foundation for the coming age.” (1 Timothy 6:18-19)
16. Peace, peaceability—Father, let my children “make every effort to do what leads to peace.” (Romans 14:19)
17. Hope—May the God of hope grant that my children may overflow with hope and hopefulness by the power of the Holy Spirit. (Romans 15:13)
18. Perseverance—Lord, teach my children perseverance in all they do, and help them especially to “run with perseverance the race marked out for [them].” (Hebrews 12:1)
19. Humility—Lord, please cultivate in my children the ability to “show true humility toward all.” (Titus 3:2)
20. Compassion—Lord, please clothe my children with the virtue of compassion. (Colossians 3:12)
21. Prayerfulness—Grant, Lord, that my children’s lives may be marked by prayerfulness, that they may learn to “pray in the Spirit on all occasions with all kinds of prayers and requests.” (Ephesians 6:18)
22. Contentment—Father, teach my children “the secret of being content in any and every situation…through him who gives them strength.” (Philippians 4:12-13)
23. Faith—I pray that faith will find root and grow in my children’s hearts, that by faith they may gain what has been promised to them. (Like 17:5-6, Hebrews 11:1-40)
24. A servant heart—Lord, please help my children develop servant hearts, that they may serve wholeheartedly “as if [they] were serving the Lord, not men.” (Ephesians 6:7)
25. Purity—“Create in [them] a pure heart, O God,” and let their purity of heart be shown in their actions. (Psalm 51:10)
26. A willingness and ability to work hard—Teach my children, Lord, to value work and to work hard at everything they do, “as working for the Lord, not for men.” (Colossians 3:23)
27. Self-discipline—Father, I pray that my children may develop self-discipline, that they may acquire “a disciplined and prudent life, doing what is right and just and fair.” (Proverbs 1:3)
28. A heart for missions—Lord, please help my children to develop a heart for missions, a desire to see your glory declared among the nations, your marvelous deeds among all peoples. (Psalm 96:3)
29. Joy—May my children be filled “with the joy given by the Holy Spirit.” (1 Thessalonians 1:6)
30. Courage—May my children always “be strong and courageous” in their character and in their actions. (Deuteronomy 31:6)

Whose Purpose Are You Serving?

"For David, after he had served God's purpose in his own generation, died, was buried with his ancestors, and experienced decay…" Acts 13:36

Chances are good that we all know the account of King David from the Bible…the ups and downs of the life of this man after God’s own heart. I’m struck by this one little phrase from Acts 13:36: “after he had served God’s purposes in his own generation.” We are ALL serving someone’s purposes in our own generation, so the question I’m asking myself is, “Whose purposes am I serving in my own generation?” We each get one turn at this life, and I know that I want to spend my life serving God’s purposes…not my own, not another human's. So what does that look like in the culture we live in that screams at us to do what feels good, to serve yourself, to get ahead no matter the cost?

I’m grieved when I see young people who say they love the Lord serving purposes other than God’s. Sports. Music. Entertainment. Now don’t get me wrong, I’m not anti-extracurricular activities. I think there are great benefits to team activities. But I AM anti-activities that become lord of your life. Activities that become the reason you live and move and have your being. None but Jesus deserve that place.

So the question is: whose purposes are you serving? Whose purposes are your children serving? I want to be able to say along with Joshua that "as for me and my house, we will serve the Lord."

Guest Post: If You Don't Teach Them, Who Will?

I'm thrilled to introduce you to my sweet friend Becky and her blog "Renovating this Life" where she chronicles her life as a mom and all the adventures that brings along with it! In her most recent post, she takes a look at the challenge and the responsibility Christ-following parents have to instruct their children in the ways of the Lord and raise them to know Him and to love Him. I KNOW you'll enjoy visiting her blog!

Contentment and Christmas

Ever since my trip to Haiti earlier this year, words like "contentment" and "simplicity" keep echoing in my mind. I did a little post-trip processing in March, trying to make sense of living in the land of excess and being able to be content with much...which is a lot more difficult than it sounds. And here we are at Christmas--a time of year set aside to remember that God put on human flesh so He could dwell with us, walk with us, talk with us, die for us, redeem us, save us. How can we be discontent when He did so much for us? Yet, ironically, Christmas time is when the culture around us is screaming for us to be DIScontent...with last year's toys, with yesterday's clothing, with our supposed "lack." And you know what, I can easily find myself buying into that lie. There are many things I'd "love" to have. But those words--"contentment," "simplicity"--they keep coming back. What I think I need, I really don't. Paul's words to Timothy penetrate to the heart of the matter, "For we have brought nothing into the world, so we cannot take anything out of it either. If we have food and covering, with these we shall be content." (1 Timothy 6:7,8)

So this year, my family and I are practicing contentment. Because we DO have food and clothing. But there are those who don't. So maybe instead of filling my coffers fuller and fuller, the better choice would be to give what I don't need to others who do.

D6 Conference IMPRESSions--Day 2

I've been back from D6 Conference for about five days now, and I'm still processing all the wonderful input I received while there. God has been showing me some ways that I can start applying some things, fairly immediately, which excites me! Below, I'm going to share some of my highlights from the second (and final) day of the conference. It was another day filled to overflowing with great speakers, great insight, and great worship!

• I would be completely remiss if I didn't share what a blessing it was to have Shane and Shane leading us in worship. Such authenticity and intimacy with the Father. It was apparent that the Lord was their focus and their primary audience, and they had such a wonderful way of making you feel like you were worshiping with them...nothing even hinted at it being a performance or "show." My personal favorite song (which has stuck with me since I first heard it last week) is called "That's How You Forgive." Check it out here.

• Les and Leslie Parrot started out our morning on day two. Their primary focus was how to fight a good fight in marriage! It was a well-received presentation. :-) "Round 1" dealt with "Why we fight," and "Round 2" dealt with "How to Fight a Good Fight." There are two main reasons couples tend to find themselves in arguments: perceived threats (critical, judgmental, controlling, demanding) and perceived neglect (selfish, uncaring, uncommitted, neglectful, disengaged). When we feel that we are on the receiving end of any of those "threats," we can end up fighting. The "take-away" I got from that session was, "Conflict is the price we pay for a deeper level of intimacy."

• Rob Rienow was up next, and he took a look at ministry patterns and challenged us to consider whether or not we follow those ministry patterns that have been set up in the Bible. He's a proponent of having children (all ages) stay in the sanctuary for the entire service. He proposed that age is the only demographic we use to separate the Church family. (We don't separate based on salary, race, etc.) The big impression I got from Rob is something I'm still rolling around in my mind. The issue of kids who come to church without parents was raised, and he asked us as ministry leaders to consider getting the Christ-following families in your church at a point where they are well-focused and well-equipped, which will free up your time a little more to focus on outreach and evangelism. Our church has a number of wonderful outreach opportunities already in place, and there are many children and families involved. So I'm praying for clearer direction on how to proceed!

• Dave Stone had a great message about the three gifts you can give your kids: Value, Grace, Love. He had a number of statements that resonated with me:
• "We need to have concern for the Church of today so there's a Church of tomorrow."
• "Keep the dust off the high chairs." (He shared a story of a dying church whose high chairs were in storage and covered in dust...if you want a thriving church, keep the high chairs full!)
• An idea for a nighttime prayer from a parent to a child: "Oh God, I can't wait to see how you're going to use ___________ for your glory."
• "We get so wrapped up in the work of the Lord that we forget the Lord of the work."

• Robert Morgan shared some insight into what he calls a "Grace Cycle," something that often comes out of grief. He specifically related it to parents who might be dealing with a prodigal child in their lives. He authored a book called Prayers and Promises for Worried Parents.
• Pain
• Prayer
• Patience--everything has a built-in maturation process
• Peace--a heavenly carelessness knowing that God is in charge
• Praise--even when things are't like we want them

• The final session of the day and of the conference was from Dr. Timothy Paul Jones. He took a fascinating look at the History of Family Ministry in Five Drawings (You'll be glad you checked this out!) He also challenged us to look at the story our lives are telling. He also told us that the story of our ministries needs to be bigger than me and bigger than my ministry. "Jesus didn't die for my ministry, He died for the people in my ministry." I wrote this in my notes as my one big impression, "I'm tired of trying to write my own story." Ultimately, Jesus is the author and finisher of our faith, and if He's writing it, I can be assured that the story is going to be good!