The Truth about Pornography

Pornography. It's one of those areas that we all know exists, but having conversations about it can be really tough. Porn is pervasive and insidious. And it's increasing in its potency daily. And our children are not immune from its impact. One of the things I'm very impassioned with is helping parents have these conversations with their kids before their kids are "educated" via Google search or the lunchroom or the school bus.

No one is safe from the effects of pornography. Instead of wondering "if" you/your child/your spouse will be exposed to porn, we have to start asking "when" they will be exposed and what we can do to be prepared and informed to combat that. So what DO you do to prepare and inform yourself? I shared a message with our church recently, and I'm including links to resources that I shared during that message. If you know the facts and how to "fight back," you won't be caught off-guard when you have to deal with the issue of porn in your life of the life of a loved one.

• Fight the New Drug is a fantastic site launched by college students. Their slogan is "Porn Kills Love." They're making looking at porn unpopular and using very compelling arguments to support their case.
• 5 Things Every Parent Needs to Know about Their Kids and Sex by Anne Marie Miller. GREAT book with loads of practical advice!
• Good Pictures Bad Pictures is a comfortable, read-aloud story about a mom and dad who teach their child what pornography is, why it's dangerous, and how to reject it. Using easy-to-understand science and simple analogies, this ground-breaking book engages young kids to porn-proof their own brains.
• Beggar's Daughter by Jessica Harris incorporates statistics, stories from girls she's worked with, and even excerpts from her own journals, to give readers a candid glimpse into the heart, mind, and struggle of a female porn addict. 
• At the Altar of Sexual Idolatry is a book recommended by a local recovery group. For anyone going through their program, this book is required reading and comes highly recommended!
• The Conquer Series by Dr Ted Roberts has a lot of resources including videos and DVD courses. They deal extensively with the subject of accountability during their 5-week discipleship series.
• The Fortify Program: An online recovery program. Free for ages 13-20, 21 and older pay $39, which covers the fee for the 13-20 year olds. Sponsored through Fight the New Drug.
• Free Indeed Ministries exists to help those who struggle with relational and/or sexual brokenness. They have several different options, including specific courses for women who are dealing with porn/sexual brokenness.
• Dirty Girl Ministries by Crystal Renaud exists to provide women with help, hope and healing from pornography and sexual addiction. Founded by author and speaker Crystal Renaud in February of 2009, the mission of DGM is to break through the stigma that surrounds female porn & sexual addiction by creating safe spaces for women to find help, hope and healing. And to train up others to do the same.
• Covenant Eyes software/filtering monitors websites visited, search terms used, and YouTube videos watched, and lists them in an easy-to-read report that is designed to start a conversation about healthy online habits. Parents, see where your kids go online. Adults, reduce Internet temptations and protect the relationships you value most.
• Groups like The Exodus Road and A21 keep us aware of the fight against human trafficking and the massive amount of slaves in the world today. The link between trafficked individuals and pornography is very strong.

Finally, don't underestimate the power of accountability! Find people in your local church, in a local recovery group, amongst your friends or family who will be willing to help you in this journey. It. Is. Worth. It!

Freedom from Pornography

Recently, I had the opportunity to speak to our church family about "Purity for Life," looking specifically at Jesus' words, "Blessed are the pure in heart, for they will see God" (Matthew 5:8). "Purity for Life" aligns with Milestone 4 in our Legacy Milestone Model. The topic of purity is massive, covering areas of the heart, areas of the physical body, areas of our spiritual walk, relationships, media consumption, and so on. An area where I am seeing purity being compromised more and more is with pornography. Porn use by self-identified Christians is not much different than porn use among non-Christians. And the effects of porn can be devastating to relationships, future and present, and even to the brain's chemistry. Check out this free ebook from CovenantEyes.com on what those effects actually look like.

If you are finding that you or someone you love is struggling with pornography, there is hope and you are not alone. Below are links to some very helpful places online that can help you take those steps to freedom. Being part of a trusted community where accountability is available can be a crucial piece of overcoming this struggle. Praying that you or your loved ones can find the freedom that Jesus offers!

• XXX Church offers free pornography addiction help to those who need it. They do this through blogs, videos, and other resources.
• Free Indeed Ministries offers programs and resources to inviduals and to the local church to help "preserve our culture" and to "proclaim freedom to the captives." 
• Covenant Eyes provides Internet accountability and filtering along with great articles and resources to help overcome some of the difficulties of living in a world that is online. 
• Every staff member at Pure Life Ministries  is fully committed to bringing the hope, healing, and restoration found only in Christ to those who have been touched by the leprosy of sexual sin. Their site is filled with helpful resources and testimonials.
• iParent is a great site that helps families keep up to speed with the latest apps, games, devices, and social media trends. It's a must-visit site if you have children who have smartphones or any kind of digital device. 

If you have a Right Now Media account, this presentation from Sean McDowell called "Kids, Teens, and Pornography" was very eye-opening. https://www.rightnow.org/Training/Post/View/770104

Our senior high youth went through this series from Doug Fields called "The Truth about Sex" (on Right Now Media but also available in other formats): https://www.rightnow.org/Media/Series/4 

Chris's Internship Experience

Our church recently had the privilege of hosting an intern from England for a five-week block placement as part of his final year experience at Bible college. Here he sums up his experience in ministry in rural, northern Maine.

Chris’ Blog Post

So it’s been 5 weeks of Maine and my time has now come to the end. I could reflect on the weather for the next three pages alone probably. The sheer amount of snow, the piercing winds and constant freezing temperatures are more than any Brit normally has to endure. But I would rather reflect on the things about Maine that I didn't know before I came, rather than the things I came to expect.

I never expected there to be so much space. Wild, open forest land as far as the eye can see and the stillness of it all is in comparable to anything I have experience back home.

I never expected the community vibe that this small northern Maine town imbibes. Even on my first day here, when I was still groggy from jet lag, the people here have just been so welcoming and hospitable towards me.

And lastly I never expected that the Lord would be guiding me and building me up for this trip to Maine and during my stay here. My parents used to live out in America years ago and had a number of contacts that they gave me when I was looking for somewhere to go on my internship. The senior pastor at The Church on the Hill was one of those on the list. The reason I first decided to come out to northern Maine was because this pastor was the only person to take a personal interest in my spiritual growth so far. That said to me that this would be a place where people will take an interest in me and not just in what I can do. God has shown me through sermons, conversations and even nature itself the importance to taking care of your spiritual self in everything you do and I feel closer to Him now than I did before coming.

I hope that I have been able to show some of God’s glory in my life as I worked within the church and with the various children and young people. I believe God has big plans for northern Maine.

I finish now with thanks to all I have met and spent time with during these short 5 weeks and a blessing on all. May the Lord grow you and prosper you as you have for me in my time here.

God bless,
Chris

Purity for Life: Teaching Healthy Sexuality to Your Kids

I recently hosted a parent workshop with the topic of talking with your children about healthy sexuality and tying that into making a commitment to "purity for life," as it relates to the Legacy Milestone Model that our church has adopted. These kinds of gatherings are some of my favorite times, as it draws together parents of different ages and of various-aged children and allows great dialogue and conversation to happen.

Our format started with a young man of 25 years of age sharing what he wished he would have known about sexual health and relationships during his growing up years. It was a great springboard for the remainder of the evening. I then shared Jim Burns's short video clip called "Teaching Children Healthy Sexuality" (you must have a RightNow Media account to view this). We had some great discussion about the reality that kids are learning about sex from media, the Internet, their friends, and so on...so they better be hearing about it at home, too, from a biblical worldview. Ideally, these "at home" conversations will be happening proactively during the growing up years of a child, through adolescence and the teen years.

The bottom line of our gathering is that it is crucial for these conversations about sex, sexual health, pornography, modesty, and purity to be happening in an ongoing basis in our homes. God's design for sex is good! And it's important that our kids understand that.

Below are some resources that we mentioned at our gathering...I hope they're helpful to you as you tackle this very important (and very difficult and awkward) topic in your home! Please comment if you have a favorite resource that isn't listed below.

• Our senior high will be using Doug Fields's series "The Truth about Sex" (you must have a RightNow Media account to view this).
• Jim Burns is one of my favorite go-to gurus on the subject of talking with your kids about healthy sexuality. He encourages an approach of starting when they're just toddlers and having conversations that evolve over time and become more age appropriate and relevant to what your child is dealing with. Here are some of his books that were discussed at our gathering:
• God Made Your Body (ages 3-5)
• How God Makes Babies (ages 6-9) 
• The Purity Code (ages 10-14+)
• Teaching Your Children Healthy Sexuality 
• Dannah Gresh has a number of really quality books that tackle topics of sexual health, modesty, and purity. Check out her Amazon page here.
•  Preparing Your Daughter for Every Woman's Battle by Shannon Ethridge contains helpful insight into how to prepare your daughter to combat the sexualized messages that the culture will be bombarding her with.
• Preparing Your Son for Every Man's Battle by Stephen Arterburn and Fred Stoeker is filled with practical advice about how to have very frank and thorough conversations with your son about sexual integrity. 

Top 10 Reasons to Attend Open Boston 2015

This just in from the great folks who have organized the Open Boston youth ministry conference...

Open Boston is just under THREE WEEKS AWAY and we so hope that YOU are going to join us February 6th and 7th up on the North Shore of Boston! Here are the top ten reasons why you should join us in three weeks:

10. Swag - who doesn't like free stuff? Join us for Open Boston and we promise you, we'll hook you up with freebies worth more than the cost to register!

9. An AWESOME Raffle - On top of the free stuff we will give to everyone, we'll also raffle away some great prizes at the end of the conference. Our sponsors in the past have given out conference registrations, year-long curriculums, tickets to our annual Youth Worker Recharge, and more!

8. FREE Dinner on Friday Night - who's going to complain about a free meal...from Panera Bread too. Yum!

7. FREE Lunch on Saturday Too! - Yup, included in the registration cost is a second meal for the weekend! And Gordon College has some fantastic catering.

6. Joe Frey - we've upped our game as far as worship is concerned this year, as we'll be joined by New England musician Joe Frey. He'll be leading us on Friday night and Saturday morning. You can check out a sample of Joe here with a free download of his song Send: https://joefrey.bandcamp.com/track/send

5. Incredible Intensives - this year during our pre-conference on Friday we have two phenomenal options for you to check out. Social media expert Adam McLane will be leading Teenagers + the Small Screen from 1:30pm-3:30pm and then from 4:00pm-6:00pm, we'll have Scott Larson, as seasoned veteran with working with at-risk students, lead us in 10 Things Youth Workers Need to Understand about Reaching and Engaging at-Risk Youth for Transformational Change. (Did we mention that the pre-conference sessions are INCLUDED in the $25 conference registration!)
4. A Worship Service on Friday Night - as youth workers, we are constantly leading others. Here is your chance to just come, worship and take in God's word without any responsibilities or jobs! We're excited to have New England Youth Pastor Nathan Rockafellow sharing a message during our service from 7:00pm-8:00pm at Calvary Baptist Church in Peabody.
 
3. 15 New England Based Speakers to Choose From - we've got 15 awesome youth workers right from our back yard to choose from on a variety of topics all context sensitive to the ministry you are doing.

2. You Support a Local Ministry - 34% of every ticket sold for Open Boston will go to support Life Bridge Mentoring, a mentoring organization that is currently serving in 8 public schools in New Hampshire and Vermont and looking to expand! 

1. $25!!!!! - All of this - the pre-conference on Friday, Saturday's conference, the two meals, the swag, the worship service...all of it is just $25 per person! Seriously, it's the best deal in youth ministry when it comes to training! (We also have a great deal with a local hotel for $82 which included breakfast too! That means for a total of just over $100 you get three meals, lodging, the pre-conference and the Saturday conference!)

Parent Night of Prayer

Recently I facilitated a Parent Night of Prayer in our church, and it was such a blessing. In the process of organizing it I didn't come across many resources online, so I want to share with you here what we did, in hopes that it will be helpful for you and the families in your church.

Our evening started out with a brief time of instruction and sharing about parenting and the joys and challenges associated with it. Then we spent the rest of the evening praying. Some parents were by themselves, others were with their spouses. Each parent was given a card at their arrival that was hooked onto a binder ring. There were seven prayer "stations" scattered throughout the sanctuary, each had a different card which could be added to the ring, so by the time they went home, the would have a visual reminder of the prayer focuses and what God may have spoken to them in that time. Below I've listed (in no particular order) and explained each of the seven stations, and I've also included the JPEGs of each of the cards in case you'd like to use them.(Each card also includes a scripture passage that goes along with it.) (If you'd like the original Publisher files so you can edit them, please email me, and I'll be glad to send them to you!)

1. Cover card--title and date of prayer.
2. Pray for your child's safety online, watching TV, on social media, etc. At this station I set up a monitor, a TV remote, and an iPod touch as visuals of some of the items that young people interact with daily.
3. Thank God for the unique traits of each of your children. I had a table set up with a number of empty picture frames, reminding parents that each of their children is a "masterpiece" created by God.
4. Pray that your child will maintain their purity and avoid traps like pornography, premarital sex, and sexual immorality. This station was a table covered with a white table cloth, simple and reminiscent of purity.
5. Pray that your child will choose godly friends and role models as their primary influencers. I'm afraid that I didn't have any good visuals that came to mind for this station. If you have something, I'd love to hear your thoughts!
6. Pray for your child's future...spouse, career, God's call on their life, family, etc. At this station I had a picture of a baby progressing through each stage of life...growing up, teen, adult, senior citizen, with the caption "Remember, you're not just raising children...you're raising future adults."
7. Pray that your child will come to know Jesus and will follow Him on their life-long journey. I had a simple cross that we use on our communion table set up for this station.
8. Pray that your child will develop a hunger and thirst for the things of God (His word, prayer, fellowship with His church, etc.) I set this station up on our communion table, which has a large Bible, some shofars, and anointing oil.

I'd love to hear if you use this idea, how it goes, if you have additional ideas for parent prayer nights.

Here's Your Sign!

Sometimes I have random thoughts that go through my head, and today's revolves around a sign that Christ-followers may benefit from having near their televisions, laptops, on their phones and tablets. Psalm 101:3 seems like it was written just for today's media-drenched culture. I've included a number of different translations below to get a feel for the "flavor" of the verse. How do you and your family maintain purity before the Lord as far as what enters your eyes?

New International Version
I will not look with approval on anything that is vile. I hate what faithless people do; I will have no part in it.

Amplified
I will set no base or wicked thing before my eyes. I hate the work of them who turn aside [from the right path]; it shall not grasp hold of me.

New Living Translation
I will refuse to look at anything vile and vulgar. I hate all who deal crookedly; I will have nothing to do with them.

English Standard Version
I will not set before my eyes anything that is worthless. I hate the work of those who fall away; it shall not cling to me.

New American Standard Bible 
I will set no worthless thing before my eyes; I hate the work of those who fall away; It shall not fasten its grip on me.

King James Bible
I will set no wicked thing before mine eyes: I hate the work of them that turn aside; it shall not cleave to me.

Holman Christian Standard Bible
I will not set anything worthless before my eyes. I hate the practice of transgression; it will not cling to me.

International Standard Version
I will not even think about doing anything lawless; I hate to do evil deeds; I will have none of it.

NET Bible
I will not even consider doing what is dishonest. I hate doing evil; I will have no part of it.

GOD'S WORD® Translation
I will not put anything wicked in front of my eyes. I hate what unfaithful people do. I want no part of it.

Jubilee Bible 2000
I will set nothing of Belial before my eyes: I hate the work of those that betray; it shall not cleave to me.

King James 2000 Bible
I will set no wicked thing before my eyes: I hate the work of them that turn aside; it shall not cleave to me.

American Standard Version
I will set no base thing before mine eyes: I hate the work of them that turn aside; It shall not cleave unto me.

Darby Bible Translation
I will set no thing of Belial before mine eyes: I hate the work of them that turn aside; it shall not cleave to me.

English Revised Version
I will set no base thing before mine eyes: I hate the work of them that turn aside; it shall not cleave unto me.

World English Bible
I will set no vile thing before my eyes. I hate the deeds of faithless men. They will not cling to me.

Young's Literal Translation
I set not before mine eyes a worthless thing, The work of those turning aside I have hated, It adhereth not to me.

The Introvert in Church

How an introvert may "recharge." :-)

I am an introvert. Typically, that statement will bring a host of preconceived ideas, definitions, and prejudices with it. In ministry, I think it's of the utmost importance to understand the different personality types that we work with, that we teach, that we disciple, that we mentor, and that we run into on a daily basis. The body of Christ is wonderfully multi-faceted, and it's a great thing to be able to celebrate those differences and value each other's contributions.

The day I discovered, understood, and embraced the fact that I am indeed an introvert was such a freeing day. I was able to more clearly see how God designed me, how to use that design for His purposes, and how to better function in this life. Now, let me clear something up...being an introvert does NOT mean that I am always quiet and hate people. I dearly love people and God has given me the gift of teaching, which means talking is something I enjoy doing (so long as there's some purpose in it!) What being an introvert DOES mean for me is that being around people "drains my tank." In order for it to get filled up again, I need doses of quiet and alone time with the Lord. Below are some resources that helped me gain a better understanding of how to function as an introvert in the church and in society in general, along with the strengths and weaknesses that can come with that personality. 

"For by the grace given to me I say to every one of you not to think more highly of yourself than you ought to think, but to think with sober discernment, as God has distributed to each of you a measure of faith. For just as in one body we have many members, and not all the members serve the same function, so we who are many are one body in Christ, and individually we are members who belong to one another. And we have different gifts according to the grace given to us." Romans 12:3-6a

• Introverts in the Dearest Place--an insightful post from The Village Church 
• Introverts in the Church is a book by Adam McHugh. Check out his site and what people are saying about his book.
• Susan Cain has penned a book entitled Quiet: The Power of Introverts in a World That Can’t Stop Talking. 

I'd love to hear your thoughts. Are you an introvert or extrovert? How do you appreciate and celebrate  differences in others? 

Does Your Child Have a Second Job?

According to a lot of the research "out there", kids are spending an average of eight hours per day consuming media. That's a full-time job with overtime! Fifty-six hours a week. Now I realize that this is an average, so if your children are not in this category, FANTASTIC! But consider with me the fact that this IS an accurate representation of many homes and many families in our nation. With the easy accessibility of YouTube, Netflix, Facebook, search engines, and all forms of apps, kids literally can have anything (and anyone!) right at their fingertips. That should give us cause to pause...

Do you want your child to be able to easily access images their mind is not yet ready to process?

Do you want your child to be able to "follow" people you don't know or have never heard of?

Do you want your child to have unfettered access to everything that is on the Internet?

My experience is that parents unanimously answer those questions with a resounding NO! But the next question is the clincher: so what are you doing about it?

There is no doubt that this generation knows their way around this tech-soaked world much better than you and I ever will. They are often referred to as "digital natives." They know the language, they know how to navigate to all the unknown places, and they can do it all very efficiently, with one hand tied behind their back! :-)

You and I are are NOT digital natives. We are more like digital visitors. Or digital transplants. In the colloquialism of our county in northern Maine, you and I are "from away" digitally speaking. However, that is not an excuse to ignore what these natives are doing. Take some time to familiarize yourself with the devices you have allowed your children to use. What apps are they using? Talk to a local geek or your Internet service provider about how to secure your system at home as much as possible.

And ultimately, build relationship with your child so you can help to form his or her heart into one that loves the Lord, that makes good decisions because they want to, because they desire to live a life that is holy and pleasing before the Lord.

Insight for the Untrained

As we dive into the new school year and the new church year, the Lord has been impressing upon my heart and mind the utmost importance of living in His word and living out His word. One of the primary verses that our children's and youth ministry team is building the year around is Psalm 119:130, "Your instructions are a doorway through which light shines. They give insight to the untrained." (NET)

As we minister to young people, we must never forget the immense privilege it is to handle God's message correctly (2 Timothy 2:15), the soul-reviving power found in His word (Psalm 19:7), and the sheer life-giving power of His word (Matthew 4:4). We are called to make the impression of God's word onto the children in our care (Deuteronomy 6:6-7).

Sometimes something as simple as getting a new Bible can be the spark needed to ignite an excitement in God's word. In my position, I get to see a lot of the new products that come out in the Christian publishing world, and I love being able to pass along some of the "best of the best" that I come across. One of those is the Deep Blue Kids Bible. It is chock full of wonderful "helps" like an introductory page to each book of the Bible that gives a great rundown of the people, places, and things that you are going to encounter as you read. I'm extremely impressed with the quality of the readings, the engaging format, and the "user friendliness" of everything inside.

The Deep Blue website describes it in this way,

"Kids will dive deep into God’s word with the CEB Deep Blue Kids Bible. This engaging, interactive Bible offers four-color icons and illustrations throughout with a wealth of notes, devotionals, Bible trivia, and other interactive elements to capture inquisitive young minds. Plus the CEB Deep Blue Kids Bible will encourage a thirst for God’s timeless message as young readers join three life-like kids in discovering the Bible and what it means to their lives."

So how do YOU maintain enthusiasm for God's word in your life? In your home? What kinds of disciplines have you found to be helpful in keeping His message the most important one that you and your family hear?

My Faceoff with Facebook

Recently, I had a four-week "soul sabbatical" during which time I was able to focus on the restoration of my soul, renewing my passion for ministry to students and their families, and reminding myself of who I am in Christ. During that time, I decided to de-activate my Facebook account, and I have to tell you that was a VERY good decision. Now, I'm not a Facebook "hater." In fact, I find it a wonderful way to keep in touch with family and friends who are far away. However...(you knew that was coming, right?) :-)

I have been on Facebook for over seven years now, and I have "survived" the myriad changes that it has gone through from its earliest days until now. A very quick Google search will give you loads of headlines about the social experiments that Facebook has been conducting and the massive amounts of data they're collecting on their users. And the crazy thing? We users are very quick to tell the Facebook universe every detail of our lives...where we've been, where we'll be, what we'll be doing, who we'll be hanging out with, and what we look like while doing all of that. Can you say narcissism?

So, my Facebook was de-activated for four weeks...that's 28 days...just enough time to form a new habit. And I have! You know what I discovered while being away from Facebook? My life (and your life, and my friends' lives) all went on! You know what else I discovered? No one was pining away because I wasn't there. When I did return, there was no ticker tape parade welcoming me back. Facebook, it seems, has the ability to warp our view of the world around us. "Likes" are how we can start to judge ourselves. More "likes" means I'm liked more. Ummm, not really. We can also tend to put our "life's best" on Facebook. Whoever has seen selfies of what you look like when you wake up in the morning? Or while you're dealing with a bout of the flu? Someone once said that Facebook was like a "highlights reel" of people's lives...not the "behind the scenes" or "bloopers reel."

I'm now back on Facebook, but my usage is MUCH less than it used to be. I'm using it primarily during the daytime hours for work-related communications and for keeping up with those closest to me. And it's feeling good!

What about you? How does Facebook effect your life? What about your kids?

Head-in-Sand Syndrome

One of my passions in life is to help parents and caregivers understand the depths of the dangers and temptations that are facing today's young people, primarily in the form of online media and social networking. It seems that nearly every day there are new ways to connect, new ways to chronicle your daily happenings, and myriad ways of sharing that with people you know (and don't know!). How in the world does one keep up with all of these changes? Well the short answer is that you probably won't. BUT I bet the kids in your life will be! They know the latest apps and the latest fads because they are "natives" to that world. Those of us who are older are "just visiting" or "foreigners" in that world--we're still trying to learn the language and learn how to navigate.

Do you know what the biggest danger in this new world is? Ignorance. Hence my title, "Head-in-Sand Syndrome." Parents and caregivers, please please please make sure you are keeping yourself educated. I'm not talking about becoming experts on everything that's out there, but at least take the time to make yourself aware of some of the latest trends in tech and online activity. And especially make sure that you're making regular checks of your child's devices. Anything that connects to the Internet has the potential to connect with the world, and with that comes a lot of "open doors" into areas where children and young people should not be traveling.

So where do you start? How about this article on the "7 Dangerous Apps That Parents Need to Know About." Another great site is Focus on the Family's PluggedIn.com. They review movies, TV shows, video games, and music...all from a Christian and biblical worldview. The Digital Kids Initiative is another great online resource that provides up-to-date info about all the cultural trends that are bombarding today's youth.

Bottom line? Don't bury your head in the sand hoping that the issues with technology will go away. We are in a culture where just the opposite is happening, and our responsibility as adults is HUGE! We need to protect our kids. We need to educate our kids (and ourselves). And we need to be wise as serpents and gentle as doves in this ever-changing culture.

Who's Counting?

If you're in ministry for any amount of time, it doesn't take long for questions like "So how many kids are in your Sunday school?" and "How many students are in your youth group?" Somehow we've come to equate quantity with quality. While that is sometimes true, it is not a hard and fast rule. We are an average-sized church with approximately 300 in attendance on a given Sunday. Our Sunday school and youth group average around 30 kids each on a weekly basis. For some churches, those numbers are very low and "insignificant." Unless you are in the triple digits, you don't really count. Most blog sites and children/youth ministry products are geared for the mega churches that have dozens of volunteers per grade level and hundreds of kids in their ministries. So what's an average-sized church to do? STOP COUNTING! :-)

I'm reminded often that Jesus changed the world with a group of 12! Just 12. He poured His life into them and taught them how to duplicate themselves into and through others. You and I know about Jesus because of what happened with those original disciples! Just think about that. Because of the energies that Jesus poured into a small group of young men, the course of history is forever altered!

Consider Gideon...God purposely downsized his group of soldiers so that God would get the glory for victory. Smaller was better!

So, who's counting? Not me! As for me and my ministry, we will keep investing in the lives that God has put in our children's and youth groups, and we will continue to anticipate amazing impacts on our world because of it!

Praying for Your Child

Nearly 14 years ago, Focus on the Family published a great list of 30 ways to pray for your child. As March begins, this is a great way to focus your day-to-day prayers on the spiritual life of your son or daughter.

A Parent’s Prayer Program

By Bob Hostetler
Focus on the Family, February 2000

1. Salvation—Lord, let salvation spring up within my children, that they may obtain the salvation that is in Christ Jesus, with eternal glory.(Isaiah 45:8, 2 Timothy 2:10)
2. Growth in grace—I pray that they may “grow in the grace and knowledge of our Lord and Savior Jesus Christ.” (2 Peter 3:18)
3. Love—Grant, Lord, that my children may learn to live a life of love through the Spirit who dwells in them. (Ephesians 5:2, Galatians 5:22)
4. Honesty and integrity—May integrity and honesty be their virtue and their protection. (Psalm 25:21)
5. Self-control—Father, help my children not to be like many others around them, but let them be “alert and self-controlled” in all they do. (1 Thessalonians 5:6)
6. A love for God’s word—May my children grow to find Your Word “more precious than gold, than much pure gold; [and] sweeter than honey, than honey form the comb.” (Psalm 19:10)
7. Justice—God, help my children to love justice as You do and to “act justly” in all they do. (Psalm 11:7, Micah 6:8)
8. Mercy—May my children always “be merciful, as [their] Father is merciful.” (Luke 6:36)
9. Respect (for self, others, authority)—Father, grant that my children may “show proper respect to everyone,” as Your Word commands. (1 Peter 2:17)
10. Strong, biblical self-esteem—Help my children develop a strong self-esteem that is rooted in the realization that they are “God’s worksmanship, created in Christ Jesus.” (Ephesians 2:10)
11. Faithfulness—“Let love and faithfulness never leave [my children],” but bind these twin virtues around their necks and write them on the tablet of their hearts. (Proverbs 3:3)
12. A passion for God—Lord, please instill in my children a soul with craving for You, a heart that clings passionately to You. (Psalm 63:8)
13. Responsibility—Grant that my children may learn responsibility “for each one should carry his own load.” (Galatians 6:5)
14. Kindness—Lord, may my children “always try to be kind to each other and to everyone else.” (1 Thessalonians 5:15)
15. Generosity—Grant that my children may “be generous and willing to share [and so] lay up treasure for themselves as a firm foundation for the coming age.” (1 Timothy 6:18-19)
16. Peace, peaceability—Father, let my children “make every effort to do what leads to peace.” (Romans 14:19)
17. Hope—May the God of hope grant that my children may overflow with hope and hopefulness by the power of the Holy Spirit. (Romans 15:13)
18. Perseverance—Lord, teach my children perseverance in all they do, and help them especially to “run with perseverance the race marked out for [them].” (Hebrews 12:1)
19. Humility—Lord, please cultivate in my children the ability to “show true humility toward all.” (Titus 3:2)
20. Compassion—Lord, please clothe my children with the virtue of compassion. (Colossians 3:12)
21. Prayerfulness—Grant, Lord, that my children’s lives may be marked by prayerfulness, that they may learn to “pray in the Spirit on all occasions with all kinds of prayers and requests.” (Ephesians 6:18)
22. Contentment—Father, teach my children “the secret of being content in any and every situation…through him who gives them strength.” (Philippians 4:12-13)
23. Faith—I pray that faith will find root and grow in my children’s hearts, that by faith they may gain what has been promised to them. (Like 17:5-6, Hebrews 11:1-40)
24. A servant heart—Lord, please help my children develop servant hearts, that they may serve wholeheartedly “as if [they] were serving the Lord, not men.” (Ephesians 6:7)
25. Purity—“Create in [them] a pure heart, O God,” and let their purity of heart be shown in their actions. (Psalm 51:10)
26. A willingness and ability to work hard—Teach my children, Lord, to value work and to work hard at everything they do, “as working for the Lord, not for men.” (Colossians 3:23)
27. Self-discipline—Father, I pray that my children may develop self-discipline, that they may acquire “a disciplined and prudent life, doing what is right and just and fair.” (Proverbs 1:3)
28. A heart for missions—Lord, please help my children to develop a heart for missions, a desire to see your glory declared among the nations, your marvelous deeds among all peoples. (Psalm 96:3)
29. Joy—May my children be filled “with the joy given by the Holy Spirit.” (1 Thessalonians 1:6)
30. Courage—May my children always “be strong and courageous” in their character and in their actions. (Deuteronomy 31:6)

Whose Purpose Are You Serving?

"For David, after he had served God's purpose in his own generation, died, was buried with his ancestors, and experienced decay…" Acts 13:36

Chances are good that we all know the account of King David from the Bible…the ups and downs of the life of this man after God’s own heart. I’m struck by this one little phrase from Acts 13:36: “after he had served God’s purposes in his own generation.” We are ALL serving someone’s purposes in our own generation, so the question I’m asking myself is, “Whose purposes am I serving in my own generation?” We each get one turn at this life, and I know that I want to spend my life serving God’s purposes…not my own, not another human's. So what does that look like in the culture we live in that screams at us to do what feels good, to serve yourself, to get ahead no matter the cost?

I’m grieved when I see young people who say they love the Lord serving purposes other than God’s. Sports. Music. Entertainment. Now don’t get me wrong, I’m not anti-extracurricular activities. I think there are great benefits to team activities. But I AM anti-activities that become lord of your life. Activities that become the reason you live and move and have your being. None but Jesus deserve that place.

So the question is: whose purposes are you serving? Whose purposes are your children serving? I want to be able to say along with Joshua that "as for me and my house, we will serve the Lord."

Guest Post: If You Don't Teach Them, Who Will?

I'm thrilled to introduce you to my sweet friend Becky and her blog "Renovating this Life" where she chronicles her life as a mom and all the adventures that brings along with it! In her most recent post, she takes a look at the challenge and the responsibility Christ-following parents have to instruct their children in the ways of the Lord and raise them to know Him and to love Him. I KNOW you'll enjoy visiting her blog!

Contentment and Christmas

Ever since my trip to Haiti earlier this year, words like "contentment" and "simplicity" keep echoing in my mind. I did a little post-trip processing in March, trying to make sense of living in the land of excess and being able to be content with much...which is a lot more difficult than it sounds. And here we are at Christmas--a time of year set aside to remember that God put on human flesh so He could dwell with us, walk with us, talk with us, die for us, redeem us, save us. How can we be discontent when He did so much for us? Yet, ironically, Christmas time is when the culture around us is screaming for us to be DIScontent...with last year's toys, with yesterday's clothing, with our supposed "lack." And you know what, I can easily find myself buying into that lie. There are many things I'd "love" to have. But those words--"contentment," "simplicity"--they keep coming back. What I think I need, I really don't. Paul's words to Timothy penetrate to the heart of the matter, "For we have brought nothing into the world, so we cannot take anything out of it either. If we have food and covering, with these we shall be content." (1 Timothy 6:7,8)

So this year, my family and I are practicing contentment. Because we DO have food and clothing. But there are those who don't. So maybe instead of filling my coffers fuller and fuller, the better choice would be to give what I don't need to others who do.

D6 Conference IMPRESSions--Day 2

I've been back from D6 Conference for about five days now, and I'm still processing all the wonderful input I received while there. God has been showing me some ways that I can start applying some things, fairly immediately, which excites me! Below, I'm going to share some of my highlights from the second (and final) day of the conference. It was another day filled to overflowing with great speakers, great insight, and great worship!

• I would be completely remiss if I didn't share what a blessing it was to have Shane and Shane leading us in worship. Such authenticity and intimacy with the Father. It was apparent that the Lord was their focus and their primary audience, and they had such a wonderful way of making you feel like you were worshiping with them...nothing even hinted at it being a performance or "show." My personal favorite song (which has stuck with me since I first heard it last week) is called "That's How You Forgive." Check it out here.

• Les and Leslie Parrot started out our morning on day two. Their primary focus was how to fight a good fight in marriage! It was a well-received presentation. :-) "Round 1" dealt with "Why we fight," and "Round 2" dealt with "How to Fight a Good Fight." There are two main reasons couples tend to find themselves in arguments: perceived threats (critical, judgmental, controlling, demanding) and perceived neglect (selfish, uncaring, uncommitted, neglectful, disengaged). When we feel that we are on the receiving end of any of those "threats," we can end up fighting. The "take-away" I got from that session was, "Conflict is the price we pay for a deeper level of intimacy."

• Rob Rienow was up next, and he took a look at ministry patterns and challenged us to consider whether or not we follow those ministry patterns that have been set up in the Bible. He's a proponent of having children (all ages) stay in the sanctuary for the entire service. He proposed that age is the only demographic we use to separate the Church family. (We don't separate based on salary, race, etc.) The big impression I got from Rob is something I'm still rolling around in my mind. The issue of kids who come to church without parents was raised, and he asked us as ministry leaders to consider getting the Christ-following families in your church at a point where they are well-focused and well-equipped, which will free up your time a little more to focus on outreach and evangelism. Our church has a number of wonderful outreach opportunities already in place, and there are many children and families involved. So I'm praying for clearer direction on how to proceed!

• Dave Stone had a great message about the three gifts you can give your kids: Value, Grace, Love. He had a number of statements that resonated with me:
• "We need to have concern for the Church of today so there's a Church of tomorrow."
• "Keep the dust off the high chairs." (He shared a story of a dying church whose high chairs were in storage and covered in dust...if you want a thriving church, keep the high chairs full!)
• An idea for a nighttime prayer from a parent to a child: "Oh God, I can't wait to see how you're going to use ___________ for your glory."
• "We get so wrapped up in the work of the Lord that we forget the Lord of the work."

• Robert Morgan shared some insight into what he calls a "Grace Cycle," something that often comes out of grief. He specifically related it to parents who might be dealing with a prodigal child in their lives. He authored a book called Prayers and Promises for Worried Parents.
• Pain
• Prayer
• Patience--everything has a built-in maturation process
• Peace--a heavenly carelessness knowing that God is in charge
• Praise--even when things are't like we want them

• The final session of the day and of the conference was from Dr. Timothy Paul Jones. He took a fascinating look at the History of Family Ministry in Five Drawings (You'll be glad you checked this out!) He also challenged us to look at the story our lives are telling. He also told us that the story of our ministries needs to be bigger than me and bigger than my ministry. "Jesus didn't die for my ministry, He died for the people in my ministry." I wrote this in my notes as my one big impression, "I'm tired of trying to write my own story." Ultimately, Jesus is the author and finisher of our faith, and if He's writing it, I can be assured that the story is going to be good!

D6 2013 IMPRESSions--Day One

I'm freshly returned from the D6 Conference in Louisville, Kentucky, and it was another home run kind of experience in my personal walk with the Lord as well as getting some great clarity for the professional side of my life in full-time ministry. This year's theme was "Impress", which looked at the verse from Deuteromony 6 which talks about the responsibility of adults to impress the commands of God on their children. Below, I have summarized the big IMPRESSions I got out of each session. It was so wonderful to get exposed to some speakers I've never heard of before as well as to have (in Deuteronomy fashion) a "repeating" of many things I have learned in the past.

• The first session was with Darrin Patrick. His focus was from Galatians 5 and 6...comparing and contrasting the fruit of the Spirit and the fruit of the flesh. It was a great way to kick things off, as he challenged us to be able to discern between the fruit of the Spirit and what he described as the fruit of our personality. Just because we are a certain way doesn't mean that God's Spirit can't have His way and make us more like Him. He shared three ways that fruit grows: holistically (the fruit of the Spirit is a "package deal"); internally (law can change behavior, but only the Spirit can change the heart); gradually (don't expect radical changes overnight); communally (God designed for us to be growing together.)  The real "bazinga" statement from him was, "Do you use your ministry as your righteousness?" Only JESUS can be our righteousness!
• Tim Kimmel was up next, and my biggest take-away from his session was this, "God has not called us to raise safe Christian kids; He's called us to raise strong ones." His son was somewhat "annoyed" during a prayer time prior to a mission trip. During the prayers, he said that everything was "prayed away" that would have required them to rely on God during the trip. We can't succumb to fear-based praying and parenting.
• Dr. James Dobson was a true delight to sit under.  What a phenomenal story teller. He shared the story of his family's legacy, dating back to his great-grandfather. A few quotes from him that have stuck with me: 
• "The culture is at war with your children for their hearts and minds."
• "The greatest thing I could do for my kids was to pray for them."
• "If you don't reach your children for Christ, you'll never see them again."
• "Nothing else matters if you don't reach your kids for Christ."
• Something new this year was a series of D6 Minis, which was a sort of rapid fire talks, each with a very specific focus. Of these, the two that stood out to me the most were from Lydia Randall and Megan Lacefield. Lydia spoke on the topic of busyness, which really resonated. One phrase from her has echoed repeatedly in my mind, "We are crazy not to do a Sabbath." She also pointed out that the Chinese character for busy is comprised of two images: heart + killing. Megan encouraged finding ways for ministries to work together within the church, and the big IMPRESSion from her talk was this statement, "Don't wait until kids are adults to believe they can make an impact."
• The final session on Day One was from Todd Wagner. The best way to summarize his topic is to present a few of his quotes that made an impact:
• When setting priorities in life, ask yourself this question, "What are the things that only I can do?"
• "Church attenders don't change anything; disciples do."
• "Your job is not to get people to come to you (or your church); it's to get them to come to Christ."
• "Is there darkness and decay in our country? There's never been a greater opportunity to be light and salt!"

Getting to Know Your Bible with the Word Cross App

I'm using this space to tell you about a really great app that my husband (an amazingly smart man!) has developed (right now for the iPad, iPod Touch, and iPhone, but soon coming to Android devices!). It's called "Word Cross" and is such an innovative way to interact with scriptures. If you enjoy crossword puzzles, you will undoubtedly enjoy this app!

Here are some ways that you can use it:

• To memorize scripture and quiz yourself.
• To challenge friends to games, as it's connected with the Apple Gaming Center.
• Print out puzzles for your kids or for your classroom.
• As a fun way to read through the Bible!
• It's also "native" in Brazil now, so if you have friends who live in Brazil, make sure to tell them about it!

Go to this link for more information and to download the Word Cross App.

Below are some screen shots to show you what Word Cross looks like and what some of its features are. As they say, a picture is worth a thousand words!

Choose words from a drop-down menu.

See the awards you have earned.

Great in landscape mode, too!

Keep track of your progress on the Gaming Center.

Each time you complete a puzzle, you have the opportunity to earn an award. Some of the awards are earned based on how fast you can complete a chapter, when you have worked through an entire book, when you complete a certain number of topics, and when you finish a puzzle without using any hints.

I'm also enjoying something new that my husband added--the topical option. You can choose from a large selection of topics (for example "faith", "family", "gossip", etc.) and work through verses in the Bible that are related to them. The interactivity of this app, as well as the active role you take as the user make Word Cross a tool that I'm sure you'll enjoy having at your fingertips!